cemas banget!

gue bener bener cemas banget ya sumpah, kalo gue tau gue bakalan secemas ini gue bakalan minta maaf kemaren sumpah perasaan gue gak tenang banget ya tuhan help me :'(((( im feel like cant stop thinking about my mom. mom im so sorry:''''''''''''''( yatuhan saya janji kalo malem ini gak ketemu mama besok pasti aku minta maaf sama mama. aku sayang banget sama mama aku gamau mama kenapa kenapa. mungkin gue lebay tapi ini yang gue rasa gimana dooooooooong? aduh tuhan buatlah perasaan saya tenang, seengaknya biar saya bisa belajar dengan konsen. besok saya masih test tapi saya belom belajar karena ga tenang. vaneza gak nelfon gue gatau harus cerita sama siapa kalo bukan sama blog, twitter. mana hp gue rusak lagi coba aja kalo gak rusak udah gue sms nyokap daritadi deh suwerrrrrr. gue sayang sama nyokap gue sayang sayang sayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang BANGET! i love you mom, god bless you wherever you're mom. i miss you so bad i really want hug you!

XOXO SELLAPALAR♡

mom

i miss you so much mom, even we live in one roof started from last friday im so lazy to meet you. but now i know i miss you so much :( please go home soon, i really wanna say sorry to you mom i can act like this for more long time :( im sorry for all mistakes that i did. i really love you mom youre the one and only!

hello sunday!

HELLO SUNDAY! good morning people no i mean good its not morning anymore. today ga kegereja gara gara bokap nyokap adek sama om karel tante yet mau ke bogor, gue ga ikut masa haha bodo enakan dirumah :p. GUE KANGEN SAMA NYOKAP :( gue kangen banget pengen bilang gue sayang nyokap gue huhu, apa nanti pas nyokap pulang gue minta maaf ya? apa besok aja sebelom ke sekolah? aaaaa binggung kan gue :( kalo aja nyokap baca postingan gue huah.

gue sekarang sendirian dirumah, mana laper kata bokap gue boleh mesen cheese burger sama apa ya? hmmm kentang ah huauau apa double cheese burger? aw aw mau ah! kok kalo cheese burger gue jadi inget nyokap gue ya? she really likes it! gue jadi ga pengen makan kalo nyokap gue gak makan itu juga, tapi kan nyokap pasti makan enak di bogor :) HELLO SUNDAY, HELLO BLESSING, HELLO HAPPINESS AND SAY GOODBYE TO DARKNESS!!

XOXO SELLAPALAR♡

:')

what is love?

can you explain what is LOVE?

when the first time i saw you you make me melting

I'm in love at the first sight

i thought you gonna be mine

i texted you for the first time at january '07

and started from january my heart is yours

i thought with easy way i can get you

but I'm wrong.

You played my heart like you play football.

you catch me then you trow me

you said you love me

when i was fight with ur ex you said i don't have to worry because you're in my side

you said she's nothing and I'm everything

you said you never ever wont let me go

you called me baby

you called me honey

you called me my love

you're the first person who called me and said happy birthday to me

you said don't forget to eat your breakfast and have fun sella

and yes you success to make me falling in love with you

but in a few days after my birthday you walked away and leave me

you act like we never ever know each other

you make me disappointed

you make me cried

you make me feel sad

you broke my heart

this is the first time im falling in love with someone

my friend ask you why you leave me and you said "gue cuma iseng kali deketin dia"

what a great words and its make me crying all night

this pain

this tears

is still here, in my heart

even I'm in a relationship with other guy, my heart is yours

no one can replace you from my heart

is too hard to hate you

i just cant stop loving you even you hurt my heart for the million times

i think by the time i can forget you

but I'm wrong

IM STUCK ON YOU

i cant move on

i try to move on and i always failed

why?

because i cant open my heart for the other guy

my heart is yours!

tonight you made me shock

my friend tell me "dia males kalo ada lo sell"

im speechless

im hopeless

i cant say anything

i can smile even you make me sad :)

my heart wont let you go

my heart ask you to come back

my heart ask you when will you be mine?

but now i know the answer

NEVER

but i believe that one day you'll be mine

and you'll love me, miss me, want me like i do.

i love you, yes i do

i miss you, yes i do

i need you, yes i do

i want you, yes i do

i hate you, no i dont

i you feel I'm bothering you, if you there i will not come

but you have to know whatever you do

whatever you say

im still loving you and i always do :D

till the end of my life i will always remember you, because you're my first love. love at the first sight. love you.

XOXO SELLAPALAR♥

cant sleep

shit i cant sleep and now im hungry and i need some food. ini nih gara2 gue gengsi kebawah males ketemu nyokap gue jadi ga makan kan, and now i cant sleep ah man. apa gue kebawah ambil makanan ya? hmm kaki gue pegel, badan gue juga pegel2, pingang gue sakit, kepala gue sakit, laper lagi huh. daritadi perut gue udah ada pamai dalemnya pamai minta makanan hahaha sekarang im watching chucky at trans tv haha i really love this film because chucky is so damn clever and great haha well im looks like psycho haha whatever! kalo makanan bikin apaan ya yg cepet dan bikin kenyang? hm nasi? no nanti bikin makin gendut terus apa ya? gatau ah kita liat aja dibawah apaan yg ada huehehe, mau ngambil makanan dulu ah

XOXO SELLAPALAR♡

menyebalkan-,-

yaampun gue ngerasa capek banget deh ga boong, gue ngerasa bener bener butuh istirahat panjang deh. capek hati iya capek badan juga iya ck. apalagi besok senen gue masih ujian dan ujianya MATH! hell no-.- gue belom belajar apa apa loh math belom soc-geo juga belom buset deh benr bener ya gue. kaki gue capek badan badan gue pegel banget deh ga boong huhu gue pengen banget istirahat tidur seharian uugh andai aja bisa asik deeeeh. besok ke gereja terus mau benerin hp kalo gt besok pagi aja ya gue belajar soc-geo sebelom ke gereja. sama kalo math ya pasrah aja deh gue capek.KAKI GUE PEGEL BANGET WOY ADUUUUH :( rasanya mau copot tau gak huhu. udah keadaan badan gaenak masih sakit sekarang di tambah gue masih berantem sama nyokap, yak lengkap ya penderitaan gue. how poor am i? very poor-_- ya tuhan semoga besok kaki gue udah ga capek amin amin. so bye!

XOXO SELLAPALAR♡

THIS IS WHAT I WANT!

i really want :

1. BlackBerry Bold/javeline/tour

2. My own laptop.

3. New Matic Car (i really want CRV or Jazz)

4. I WANT BANG GANTENG TO BE MINE!

5. holiday in singapore and new year in kuala lumpur

i hope i get what i want, please jesus please im bagging you.

XOXO SELLAPALAR♡

:(

kenapa ya gue ngerasa bersalah? padahal gue kecewa banget sama nyokap sama adek gue, kenapa ya? sekalipun adek gue udah ngomong baik baik sama gue tapi gue tetep aja sakit hati sama dia because of him since yesterday im not talking with my mom haha cool ryt -.- gue kesel gue sebel gue tuh ngerasa nyokap gue ga adil tapi kenapa gue yang ngerasa salah? oh gosh! hmm should i say sorry to my mom? but i dont want say sorry to my brother even my mom tell me to do that. ya kita liat aja besok kalo gue masih ga ngomongan sama nyokap yah gimana ya, ya gatau deh gue capek secapek capeknya.

XOXO SELLAPALAR♡

gue capek :(

why it always happen? dont you know im so fvckn tired when this situation happen? ma kenapa sih mama gabisa bikin kesenengan aku tuh penuh seharian itu? kenapa? and arthur why you always make me and mom fight for something that not make sense to fight? why? i tried to be patient and all what you want i try to follow you but can you make me happy even for one day? CAN YOU? kenapa sih lo selalu kayak gitu sama gue? kenapa lo gabisa ngalah sama gue? i tried to make you happy when youre sick, when you cant eat anything except pouradge or something like that i buy something for you and i know you like it, but you never said thanks to me. im trying to understand what you want but one thing that you always make me sick YOU MAKE ME AND MOM ALWAYS FIGHT FOR SOMETHING NOT MAKE SENSE!!!! fine, you're still young but can you make me happy as my brother? huh?

why i have to say sorry to my mom and my brother when this situation happen? WHY? why i always wrong and never right? my mom usually is in my brother side and judge me, oke whatever. you said "kalo jumat sabtu komputer kamu yg make" but yesterday you said "AKU GPERNAH NGOMONG GITU" oh poor you! we fight and i cant stand, im so tired to be someone that always MENGALAH. nyokap gue mukul gue, ngejambak gue, ngatain gue well gue udah biasa sih digituin and one thing i know my mom never ever do it to my bro, ya well maybe my bro is still young and maybe he doesnt know what he did but please bisa gak sih berlaku adil? gue udah ngasih main adek gue laptop pas gue pergi sama runi nadya tapi kenapa dia gabisa ngasih gue main pas kemaren? gue udah baik ngasih dia main dari jam stengah 4 sampe jam 5 tapi gue pas minta minjem sedikit dia malahan marah nangis ngadu dan gue gasuka gue kunci aja pintunya and my mom scream in front of my room and said that i have to open my door and i said GAMAU dan dia gedor2 marah sampe akhirnya gue buka dan dia ngomel ngatain gue dan ngejambak rambut gue, gue di pukulin ampe biru badan gue sakit semua terus gue reflek mukul dia juga dan dia mukul gue pake sapu lidi and i dont care gue mukul dia balik gue gaperduli dia marah atau apa dia nyerocos apa lah itu gue gamau dengerin dan dia bilang dia gabakaln maafin gue OKEY FINE! GUE CAPEK MUSUHAN AYO DEH SUKA SUKA SONO SUKA SUKA DEH!!!!!! GUE CAPEK YA SELALU BEGINI SO WHATEVER!!!!!! gue udah pengen kabur aja tuh pas kemaren tapi masih gue tahan tahan yaudahlah gue ngekoks aja biar gapusing sambil minum hot chocolate and its make me feel better.

dan sampe sekarang gue gak ngomongan sama nyokap gue gue males ya gue capek kalo gue harus minta maaf mulu ye GUE CAPEK GUE JUGA PUNYA PERASAAN KALE! tadi pas les inggris adek gue nanya sama gue "kemaren gimana?" dia nanya gimana bego dasar ya gue ga jawab gue gamau ngomong sama dia buat apa gue capek pokoknya sama adek sama nyokap gue, kalo sampe gue bermasalah sama bokap gue sumpah deh gue pergi aja nginep ke dirumah siapa gitu yg mau nampung gue ampe gue ga strees lagi. gue tuh gila kali ya lama lama disini, rumah apa neraka sih sebenrnya? HAH? gue tuh sumpah ya baru aja ngerasa bahagia sedikit kemaren eh malahan besokanya kayak gini ANJENG LAH-_- pokoknya nanti aja gue ngomongnya sama nyokap kalo nyokap minta maaf kali ini gue bener benr sakit hati sama nyokap gue!!!!