why are you so cruel?

Have you ever wonder how a words from a person can affect your life so much? Like you are trying so hard not to let that words ruin your day but its just too hard not to think about it. I totally understand how sometimes when people are mad they just spit everything out of their mouth without even thinking, but what hurts is when they know they hurt your feeling they don't have the guts to admit it that they're wrong. Fine maybe I was wrong, but it doesn't mean you can just say those mean words and expect me to come to you and say sorry. HELLO you hurt my feelings, so I am not the one who have to say sorry. Yeah.. No thanks. I don't usually deal with my problem, all I do is ignoring it until its gone. I know thats not a good thing to do, but… oh well. I have never ever feel this hurt by words people said to me, but this time it was different. His words was actually hurtful enough to make me bursting into tears in the bathroom. Im not a crier. I usually don't give a damn about what he has to say, but this time he just crossed the line. I mean it like he crossed it far away from the line. How can you be cruel like that, don't you think I have feelings? Its one thing to call me stupid but its just way out of the line when you start calling me disappointment or how you wish you can just give me up for an adoption. It wasn't because I didn't open the door while i am in the middle of a fucking shower, and instead of being so smart and actually take the m'fcking key when you left the freaking hotel room, you blame me for not opening the door. You expect me to come outside the bathroom with hair full of shampoo and grab my towel and open the door for you, guess what asshole? NO thanks. Oh yeah and i figure it out that the problem is not because I didn't open the door for you its more like because I missed the morning service. I always go to church every single sunday and now because i missed one sunday service I am a freaking atheist? Yeah who's the dummy now. Oh FYI its not because I missed the service its more because everyone see that I wasn't there, and people start assuming shit so lets just say he is embarrassed that I wasn't there and he is scared that people would think that he's a bad parent because his daughter didn't show her nose in front of everyone. Its easy you can just say someone kidnap me the night before so I didn't show up at the service or just tell them I am not your daughter anymore, I don't know you are smart you can make up some stupid story so you wouldn't feel embarrass. I never thought that you would ever spit those words out of your mouth, but you did. When I feel hurt, I don't care who you are I am not gonna say anything to you. Lets just say you are NOTHING to me, you are dead to me. I will never say sorry, because I am not sorry for anything. I never wanted to come to that retreat in the first place, wanna know why? because I hate spending time with you, because it never goes smoothly when the four of us spend time together. Its always end up as a disaster. That is why I rather stay at home and being a loner than spend time with you.